Intelligencer Journal/Lancaster New Era

3 tips

After a divorce, is it possible to overcome sorrow, anger and resentment fully, and form a peaceful relationship with your former spouse?

Dr. Judith Ruskay Rabinor thinks so. The clinical psychologist wrote "Befriending Your Ex After Divorce: Making Life Better for You, Your Kids, and Yes, Your Ex" after her own divorce.

It's not always something you should pursue, of course; if addictions or abuse were present, these strategies don't apply. But, for others, her key steps include:

u Learn to forgive, including yourself. Don't dwell on the past or what went wrong.

v Start with small acts of kindness and continue trying, even your ex is slow to acknowledge your efforts or reciprocate.

w Decide what kind of positive relationship you want with your ex.

And, much as you may want to demand all this of your ex in return, Rabinor says, "the only person you can really change is yourself.

"You'll eventually succeed, or at least have the satisfaction of knowing you're doing the right thing."

-- Source: judithruskayrabinorphd.com