In May 1964, Nels and Irene Highberg bought their first and only home. It was a modest, brick rancher -- no garage -- on a pleasant cul-de-sac on the edge of East Petersburg.

The Highbergs raised two sons there. They entertained neighbors there. They grew old there.

After 48 years at 6312 Miriam Circle, the Highbergs -- Nels is 92, Irene is 89 -- figured they could manage a while longer. Family and friends agreed.

But the county Office of Aging stepped in last summer, saying for safety reasons the Highbergs must move to a nursing home.

"I ain't going to go," Highberg said, according to Erick Highberg, the couple's 54-year-old son.

When a van arrived Aug. 2 to take the couple to Oak Leaf Manor in Millersville, Highberg sat in a chair in the driveway for many long minutes. He got in the van only after a police officer showed up.

"He respected her uniform," said Erick Highberg, noting his father's more than 20 years of service in the Navy and Coast Guard.

Mrs. Highberg said in a phone interview she got in the van to see what the nursing home was like. "I didn't understand we would be locked up here," she said. "They brought us in here, and they kind of disappeared real quick."

Now, after more than three months at Oak Leaf Manor, Mrs. Highberg still wants to return home.

"If I have to be here, it couldn't be better," she said. "It's a very nice place. The rooms are nice and clean, and the food is good, and they have entertainment, and we get out to do some things, musicals and such once in a while. Really, you wonder what the heck I'm complaining about. Well, it's not my house."

What prompted the Office of Aging's action was receipt June 10 of a "report of need" from a party the agency, by law, may not disclose.

The party, according to a court document, said Mrs. Highberg was confused and unable to care for herself, yet she was caring for "her incapacitated husband when she was in all likelihood more confused than he."

The Office of Aging then conducted an investigation that included a medical exam at the Highbergs' home by Dr. Robert M. Howse Jr., a geriatrics specialist. The doctor recommended placement in a dementia unit and appointment of a guardian to oversee the couple's affairs. He wrote that the Highbergs had lost the capacity for sound decision-making as long ago as January 2007.

County Judge Jay J. Hoberg heard testimony July 30 and appointed an agency to serve as guardian for the Highbergs with authority to move them to a nursing home.

The order upset family, friends and neighbors who disagree with many of the Office of Aging's findings. They contend the Highbergs would have been safe at home if they stopped driving and received more in-home services.

"Irene knew she was losing her memory," said Vera, a long-time friend who didn't want her last name to appear in the newspaper. "I didn't see a danger yet. I really didn't."

"Irene is losing some short-term memory, but she's able to take care of herself," said Joan Pompei, a Miriam Circle neighbor and friend for 18 years. "She's a very active person. She's not 25 anymore, but to paint them as unable to care for themselves is just awful because they do just fine."

Another long-time neighbor who did not want to be identified said Mrs. Highberg "repeated things" but "was rational."

Mr. Highberg, meanwhile, has significant hearing loss but not dementia, family and friends said.

"He is not senile," insisted Isa Breneisen of Pequea, a former neighbor who continued to see the Highbergs often. "He's old, but he's perfectly cognizant of what's going on."

"I think (the move) was way premature," said grandson John Highberg, 45, of Ferndale, Mich.

Family, neighbors and friends said the Highbergs were clients of Meals on Wheels and hired housecleaning and lawn care services. Their son, Erick, of Stony Battery Road, said he visited his parents weekly, talked to his mother daily and, if she asked for help, he went over.

But the Office of Aging decided it had good reason to move the Highbergs. Asked for comment, Jacqueline Burch, Office of Aging executive director, said she couldn't speak specifically about the Highberg case because the state's Older Adults Protective Services Act mandates confidentiality. But she said her office explores all alternatives before seeking guardianship.

"That is the very last resort," she said, in part because going to court is time consuming and expensive.

In each of the past three years, the Office of Aging investigated an average of 1,300 reports of suspected abuse, neglect or financial exploitation. About 640 of those cases had merit, and the office each year sought guardianship in about 70 cases.

"Many times care plans are instituted," Burch said. "They reduce the risk and enable the person to stay home. ... We try to find any and all ways to avoid any court proceeding."

But when there's evidence of major risks, the Office of Aging spares no expense in making a case for guardianship, investing hours in gathering information and paying for a medical expert and attorneys to represent the older person and the agency.

"I have to tell you that not only is (appointing a guardian) the last resort because it strips the older person of their rights," Burch said, "but the fact is that it is a very costly endeavor, and, indeed, we try to work with older folks and families and find other least restrictive alternatives to reduce the risk to that person."

The Highberg family and others, however, question how thoroughly the Office of Aging considered options less drastic than the move to a nursing home.

Erick Highberg said he and his wife, Katrina, a registered nurse, were willing, for example, to move in with his parents and stay in a spare bedroom.

Linda Highberg of Warren, Mich., another daughter-in-law, said she does not believe the Office of Aging researched services by the Veterans Administration and independent-living agencies and also failed to explore options with family.

Erick Highberg agreed. "No one said, 'Here's what you need to do in order to keep your mom and dad in the house,' " he said. The caseworker "didn't offer us any options."

"They say they try to keep people in their homes," he added. "It doesn't seem they tried at all, that it was a big emergency."

Another point of contention is whether the Highbergs' decline was dire.

The agency's court petition said Mrs. Highberg was "so confused she could not even sustain a conversation. She repeatedly asked the caseworker who she was and made references to visiting the mountains."

The agency also said Mrs. Highberg should no longer drive because "she would never be able to find her way home after an outing and would put others on the road at risk."

Erick Highberg agreed his parents should not drive, but he said his mother or father never got lost.

Linda Highberg said she and her husband, Nels III, visited Mr. and Mrs. Highberg for nearly five hours over two days earlier this month. One visit included a meal at a restaurant.

"They both knew who we were," Linda Highberg said. "They were like ecstatic. Irene initially was a little confused, but then she got her wits together, and she was fine."

She said Mrs. Highberg spoke about taking up knitting and reading to other Oak Leaf Manor residents. She also talked about her husband not making friends because most of the residents are women.

Another issue is whether the Highbergs were eating well, with the Office of Aging maintaining that the Highbergs "did not have adequate food in the home."

But in an interview, Mrs. Highberg explained she didn't cook often because Meals on Wheels delivered food and they ate out frequently. "We just get in the car and go," she said.

Erick Highberg wondered if the caseworker missed the full freezer.

The agency also questioned the Highbergs' ability to handle financial matters, alleging, for instance, that they had "piles of unpaid bills laying around the house."

Erick Highberg said the piles were junk mail his mother refused to discard. He said his mother did keep after bills. When his parents were taken from their home, he said, only the electric bill was overdue.

Pompei, a neighbor, said what the Office of Aging interpreted as the Highbergs' ignorance of their financial affairs was more likely prudence. "They are not going to tell strangers how much money they have in the bank," Pompei said.

Now that the Highbergs are at Oak Leaf Manor, a new worry for the Highberg family is the possibility of another move to a less expensive, state-subsidized facility because their money is running out.

"I'm glad they're being cared for," grandson John Highberg said, "but the thing is (Oak Leaf Manor) is very expensive, and I can't see how the Department of Aging thought it was practical that this was the only option. A care plan that would have allowed them to stay in their home would have kept them happier."

"My concern is their emotional well-being is going to be so much worse" if they're moved again, Linda Highberg said. "Psychologically, they will not be stable."

Family and friends say the Highbergs had a rough transition when they moved into Oak Leaf Manor last August. They said Mrs. Highberg lost access to the phone because she repeatedly called the police and the bank to find out why she couldn't go home and why she didn't have access to her money.

"We've done nothing wrong to get locked up," Mrs. Highberg said in an October letter to her son and grandson. "We'd rather die, and no one is really helping us."

"It just breaks our heart to see them locked up like that," said Pompei, who visited last week. "They can't even go for a walk without getting someone to go with them."

What has never been in dispute is Mrs. Highberg's strong attachment to her home.

"I always knew, from the day I learned what pennies were, I wanted my own house," Mrs. Highberg said. "From the day I graduated from high school and went to work, I had a special savings account at the bank for when I could buy my house. ... I worked so hard for so many years to pay it off."

Asked what she would say to those who think she was not safe at home, Mrs. Highberg said, "They don't know me."

And what would she like to tell the judge?

"He's nuts," she said, "but I wouldn't tell him, 'You're nuts.' "

Mrs. Highberg said she would tell him, "We're still capable of taking care of ourselves."

jhawkes@lnpnews.com