For children 12 and under, the rule is clear: face time, not Facebook.
But Internet-savvy children need only fudge a birth date to gain access to the most widely used social networking site on the planet. Documentation of age and identity is not required.
Some parents go as far as to help their underage children set up Facebook accounts, with the intent of monitoring their online activities. Other parents simply let their children do as they please.
While lying on Facebook isn't illegal, allowing children to access social networking sites before they understand the responsibilities and potential dangers associated with online media can cause problems for parents and children.
Consider the case of the Lititz man facing charges for having inappropriate sexual contact with a 14-year-old girl and her 11-year-old sister after meeting the older girl on Facebook.
"Younger kids may not have developed the social boundaries to deal with [social networking]," Solanco's Swift Middle School Principal Paul Gladfelter said. "Kids don't understand, if it's out there, they can't hit the delete key."
Schools have no jurisdiction over Facebook unless issues related to it spill over into the classroom — based, perhaps, on a student or parent complaint, Gladfelter said. And those issues are trickling down to younger and younger students.
Vulnerable or not, the under-13 population is growing on Facebook, according to a recently released survey by Consumer Reports. The survey indicates that as many as 7.5 million children under the age of 13 use the site, with 5 million of those under the age of 10.
Stacey Irwin, an associate professor of new media in Millersville University's department of communication and theater, notes that age 13 — established by the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act — is just a point of reference, and it might lull parents into adopting a false sense of security.
Irwin is the parent of three children, ages 6, 11 and 13.
"Their brains are still forming at 13," said Irwin, who has yet to allow her oldest to have a Facebook account.
Keeping children off Facebook can make parents unpopular with their children, and children unpopular with friends already on Facebook.
"I would say with my sixth- and seventh-graders, when I ask how many have Facebook accounts, 75 percent raise their hands," even when confronted with the age restriction, said Theresa Sokso, a computer technology teacher at Swift Middle School.
Parents are increasingly signing off on their children's social networking.
The number of U.S. parents who would allow children 10 to 12 years old to have a Facebook or MySpace account has doubled in a year, according to an online survey of about 1,000 adults by Liberty Mutual's Responsibility Project. Seventeen percent of parents questioned in the poll said they have no problem with a preteen child using a social media site, compared to just 8 percent a year ago.
If children are bending the rules with a parent's seal of approval, does that set a precedent for rules not applying? Or are parents simply acknowledging their inability to prevent children from finding ways around the rules?
"My thoughts are that I feel like [the age requirement] was put there for a reason," said one Lancaster mother of two, ages 7 and 11, who asked not to be identified. She acknowledged that her viewpoint might not be the norm. "A Facebook page? I'd never allow my kids to do that. It bothers me that anybody can get access to your information."
"Children shouldn't be locked in a closet," said Irwin, who encourages her daughter, already well-versed in the media world, to also learn about life and people outside of the media box. "But I think parents need to pay attention that their [children's] real life is larger than their media life."
Adding fuel to potential parental ire, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg seems lukewarm about the age restriction and has spoken publicly about a need for changes in COPPA regulations. It's important to note that Facebook took in $500 million in 2009, mostly from ad revenue, according to "The Facebook Effect," and the tween market is prime real estate for advertisers.
For parents willing to juggle the numbers so their preteen children can join Facebook, the key to safety is carefully overseeing their Facebook lives.
Sokso's son is under the age limit, so she holds the account password and only allows him on the computer with her in the room.
Dianne Shepherd was initially opposed to her 11-year-old, Annie, getting an account, but was shocked to learn how many students at her daughter's school were on the site. Shepherd ultimately decided that Facebook would help Annie communicate with their relatives abroad, which would be difficult otherwise. But despite rigorous monitoring, she said, her husband once had to run interference when Annie tried to friend a person claiming to be a celebrity.
Social networking may not be a runaway train, but it's hard to put the brakes on it.
"[Social media] is really [our kids'] world, the way they communicate," Shepherd said, "and if we as parents don't get involved, then we will be left behind."
Safety tips for parents and young Facebook users
• Pay attention to privacy and security settings. Facebook changes these options frequently.
• Limit privacy settings to Only Friends. That will restrict who sees your information, including pictures, videos and applications.
• Leave fields blank on bios. There is no need to post phone numbers or addresses. These features are optional and aren't required to create a Facebook account.
• Restrict who can share information to avoid personal data ending up in the hands of marketers. Be on the lookout for third parties requesting personal information, such as birth dates or music playlists. Make sure to uncheck the public search results box so people can't find your Facebook page through a Google search.
• Remember that information is persistent. Don't post anything you will be ashamed of 10, 20 or 30 years from now. There are no "take-backs" on the Internet.
For more information, visit facebook.com/safety or facebook.com/help.
Sources: Charlie Reisinger, Penn Manor School District technology director; and commonsensemedia.org.
