As a parent of three, ages 16 to 21, Kirsten Murray has juggled her fair share of birthday parties and vacations.

But she knows, from personal experience, there's no need for a family event to turn into a three-ring circus.

As treasured as family celebrations are, some families try to make too much of them, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, which also believes events can be more meaningful without excessive fanfare, since there's less anxiety and disappointment.

Priceless time spent with loved ones can be more valuable than money spent. Instead of over-the-top kids' parties and vacations that empty the bank account, keep it simple but still sweet.

For instance, one of the highlights of Murray's daughters' train ride and picnic grove party when they turned 6 and 8 was having strawberry soda, said Murray, parenting development coordinator with Compass Mark and regular contributor to www.LancMoms.com.

"I never bought soda, and to have strawberry soda seemed very exotic to the girls and their brother," said Murray, also a certified facilitator for ages 10 to 14 and their parents in the international Strengthening Families Program (Iowa State).

It's important to get everyone involved in the planning process but also to stick to a planned budget, said Melissa Miville, wedding and event planner and owner of Stylish Occasions by Melissa Miville.

"If you go over budget you're not going to enjoy the party as much because the entire time you'll be thinking 'Oh, why did I spend that much?' " Miville said. "Basically find out what each person likes and incorporate that in some way."

This creates invaluable family togetherness even before the celebration.

Miville recalls a combination party marking both the parents' 10th wedding anniversary and the two daughters' birthdays. The family wanted to make the event special for all but not stressfully extravagant.

In discussion with the family, Miville discovered the youngest girl liked daisies, so balloons were made to look like daisies. The family borrowed a bounce house from a relative for the oldest girl. Then, family pictures were hung around the border of the yard.

Disney World may be a top choice for family vacation destinations, but heading to the popular amusement park may not be practical or feasible.

A destination is best chosen based on the goal of the trip, budget and group consensus, Murray said.

It's still possible to get bang for less bucks with a similar, albeit shorter, experience. Area amusement parks can be low-cost day trips. For instance, Knoebels Amusement Resort has free admission.

Spending less money on vacations reflects a national trend in a still-floundering economy. According to a Marist Institute for Public Opinion poll, a majority of adults nationally — 55 percent — say they won't be booking a summer vacation this year, preferring instead to take shorter journeys.

"Think an outdoor back-to-nature slant," said Beverly Gruber of the Pennsylvania Campground Owners Association. Catching fireflies, chasing frogs, wading in a stream, singing songs around a campfire can help bond family members in a simple way.

Let bonding be your guide … not necessarily Martha Stewart.

Low-key, low-cost, low-stress

• Plan ahead

First, have a family meeting to decide on the how, where and what of the event, whether it be a birthday party or vacation.

Brainstorm. Decide on goals, locations and stay within a budget as much as possible.

Get family members involved in all the aspects … but, for parties incorporating a surprise, devise a secret aspect of the celebration.

Once on vacation, try to find activities family members can enjoy as a group.

Keep a family tradition alive or start one.

• Keep it simple

For parties, don't overinvite, overdo, overplan, overcook or overindulge on an extensive menu.

If too much goes into throwing an in-home party, bring it to a restaurant or neighborhood park.

Don't focus on the over-the-top vacation choices. Consider camping trips and area amusement parks.

• Save money

For parties, buy decorations and favors from craft or dollar stores.

Make your own props. For example, construct a "photo booth" utilizing a sheet hung from a wall or clothesline as a backdrop and take pictures with disposable cameras. Incorporate old-fashioned games and basic kid-friendly activities. Turn a table into a drawing area: Cover it with a white party shop tablecloth and add cups of crayons. Create unique favors. Give seed packets for planting along with terra-cotta pots.

To save money on vacation, have breakfast in your hotel room. Bring along bagels, energy bars, etc.

Check for discounts for both seniors and children.

Sources: Kirsten Murray, parenting development coordinator with Compass Mark; Melissa Miville, of Stylish Occasions; and www.babyzone.com.

sjurgelski@lnpnews.com