Dads dance into memories

It's a memory that many daughters and fathers share. The memory usually entails a young daughter balanced with her toes on her father's slick dress shoes while they spin around a dance floor at a wedding, in a family living room or at a park while listening to music.

"It is a memory that can help to form the special relationship between a father and daughter," said Herb Landis, a family counselor with Samaritan Counseling Center in Lancaster.

The father/daughter relationship is one that can be hard through early years if the interests are different, Landis said. So when an opportunity for a daddy/daughter dance arises, know it can play an important role, Landis said.

"It gives them something to bond over," he explained. "It's something that gives them something in common other than their relationship."

The Lancaster Recreation Commission is hoping to help create some of these memories on Thursday at the Cork Factory Hotel, 480 New Holland Ave. A sold-out dance will be held for young women and the significant male figures in their lives.

Broadening its community efforts, the commission has added the dance to its itinerary this year as a way to have parents and children interact, according to Jill Diller, director of family programming for the commission.

"A lot of our activities in the past had the parents cheering from the sidelines," Diller said. "This will get them involved with their daughters."

Although many fathers may feel as though they are involved with their daughters, these dances can help add another layer to the relationship.

"While fathers certainly love all their children, it sure seems that more dads spend a lot more time with their sons. Perhaps they think that they have more in common with their boys, or maybe they are a little intimidated by the girls," Diller said.

But with a little more understanding, fathers can feel just as comfortable around their daughters as they do their sons.

According to an article in Interactive Dad magazine, research suggests that daughters who have secure and loving relationships with their fathers will do better in school than those who have not, have high self-esteem, will form better relationships with men and will get a degree.

City councilman and businessman Jose Urdaneta is participating in the rec's dance with his daughters, 8-year-old Veronica and 16-year-old Alvia, for those very reasons.

"I also want to spend some quality alone time with them," Urdaneta said. "With being in a family of four, it can be hard. I want to take Alvia because she's becoming a young woman and it will be fun for her. For Veronica, I try to make some special time for her because she's the youngest."

And although the focus of these dances is on "fathers," it also includes any father figure a young girl has in her life, Diller said.

"We are certainly including anyone who holds a special place in the young girl's life," Diller said.

Stacy Hollinger got the ball rolling this year to plan a Sweetheart Dance for Penn Manor School District elementary school girls and their male role model dates. The dance, which will be held Saturday at Manor Middle School from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., will benefit the Penn Manor Junior Comets. For information, contact Hollinger at shollinger@rlps.com.

Hollinger recently relocated to the Penn Manor District from the Solanco School District where her husband, Scott, and her 9-year-old daughter, Sara, have attended a Sweetheart Dance together for the past three years.

"This past fall, Sara said that she couldn't wait until this year's dance," Hollinger said. "I had to tell her that we moved and wouldn't be doing it this year."

That was not good enough for Sara and she encouraged her mother to organize a dance within their district. Hollinger put word out, and now more than 300 people are attending the dance.

"I guess you just don't realize what is so important to one little girl," Hollinger said.

The event is extra special to the family because Scott, who is in a wheelchair as a result of Lou Gehrig's disease, gets the chance to dance with his daughter.

"They make a date night of it and have gone to dinner in the past," Hollinger said. "It creates memories that just can't be topped and is their special time together.

"Scott is a wonderful dance partner," Hollinger said. "Sara wanted to make certain they were able to get their moves down now that he is in a wheelchair, but they are making it look flawless. It is their spirit and love that makes it work so well."

Hollinger is proud to be able to create the dance for the children in the district and views it as a chance for the important men in young girls' lives to step up and take part in something that they will all remember for a long time.

"We have such limited time in this world today, why not do it all while you can," Hollinger said. "They will be grown up before you know it."

"I probably won't dance again with Veronica until her quinceañera and then after that at her wedding," Urdaneta said. "So this is a way we are forging a memory that will last forever. I know when I dance with her when she is 15 that I will flash back to her as a 8-year-old because of taking part in this dance."

cesbenshade@lnpnews.com