You don't tug on Superman's cape or pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger.

And, if you're smart, you don't mess around with the Environmental Protection Agency.

Just ask Barry Smith, manager for Manor Township.

Smith was required to spend two days with five EPA inspectors and answer hundreds of questions. His head is still spinning.

"Everything is about charts and check marks and records," Smith said. "It's unnerving."

About what was EPA so concerned? Stormwater management — and for good reason.

Runoff from Manor Township's suburban tracts and rolling farmland makes its way to the ailing Chesapeake Bay. If the stormwater picks up pollutants or gets choked with silt, it's not good for fish, crabs and oysters downstream.

Inspection anxiety

Every year, Smith fills out a 19-page EPA form detailing what the township does to control runoff. And, every year, he hears nothing about what he submits. For all he knows, EPA does what it believes is the responsible thing and tosses his response into a recycling bin.

But that changed in April, when EPA sent a letter saying Manor had run afoul of regulations. Then there was a follow-up call saying EPA inspectors were coming.

Smith and staff got ready by taking a deep breath and piling on an 8-foot-long table stacks of the records that EPA wanted to see.

Smith thought he was as prepared as he could be for the unprecedented inspection.

What he didn't expect was inspectors quizzing him for seven and a half hours and then, the next day, poking their noses into every nook and cranny of the township's maintenance facilities.

With the Susquehanna River serving as Manor Township's western boundary and the Conestoga River carving out the southern boundary of the 39-square-mile municipality, township officials understand they're on the front lines of the bay-preservation fight.

A sign outside the township office, in fact, identifies Manor Township as a Chesapeake Bay Partner Community, one of 73 local governments in three states recognized by the Chesapeake Bay Program for working to protect and restore the bay. And, in 2004-05, Manor Township joined neighboring East and West Hempfield townships in a planning process called Builders for the Bay to promote development practices that minimize harm to waterways.

Manor Township officials have good reason to consider themselves responsible citizens of the watershed.

Zero tolerance

But since President Barack Obama signed an executive order last year promising accelerated bay-cleanup efforts, EPA has started taking a harder line on polluters. Smith said the inspectors he met with overlooked nothing.

They seemed appalled, for instance, that the township didn't have oil pans under every police car and municipal vehicle. The township's practice of sprinkling an absorbent on dripped motor oil wasn't good enough.

The inspectors also didn't like the way township workers cleaned stone dust from a paved area. It was swept into the grass rather than vacuumed.

"We were flabbergasted," Smith said. "It was a little bit of dust."

And so it went.

"We asked if there would be penalties," Smith said, "and they said, 'We don't know.' "

Smith's not too worried. He doesn't think the inspectors found anything major wrong. But he said it was discouraging when they didn't compliment the township on a single thing it does right.

"Their response," Smith said, "was, 'That's not our job.' "

Smith decided, probably wisely, that it wasn't his job to tell the inspectors what he thought.

jhawkes@lnpnews.com