Just how difficult remains to be seen.

The deputy county coroner will celebrate the holiday, as she has for as long as she can remember, with about a dozen relatives at her family’s cabin in Lebanon.

But this year will be different.

Ballenger was called to the scene after a gunman burst into the West Nickel Mines School Oct. 2 and shot 10 Amish girls. Five girls died.

What she witnessed that day has given her a new perspective, not only on the holiday, but on life in general.

“It changed everything for me, and this Thanksgiving I will give thanks for the positive things that have emerged from such a horrific event,” she said.

Ballenger, like many others who found themselves thrust into the nightmare at Nickel Mines, said this Thanksgiving will bring a combination of feelings — thankfulness for her own family and sorrow for the victims and their families.

Sitting down to dinner, Ballenger’s family members traditionally share the things for which they are most thankful. This year, she said, she “won’t know where to begin. ...

“I have made some wonderful friends through this ordeal, and I am so thankful for them,” she said. “And I continue to be thankful for the kindness and compassion that people have extended. Those are the bright spots in a dark time.”

Ballenger spent seven hours at the Bart Township school on that beautiful autumn day.

She had the grim task of examining the body of 7-year-old Naomi Rose Ebersol on the school’s playground, counting the wounds on the girl’s tiny body.

Ballenger also helped identify and remove the bodies of 12-year-old Anna Mae Stoltzfus and gunman Charles Carl Roberts IV, who shot himself.

The images from that day will forever haunt her and will weigh heavily on her mind, Ballenger said, especially today.

“It will be very difficult,” she said. “There will be a lot of emotion, and I’m going to have to try hard not to break down.”

Thanksgiving also will stir painful memories for emergency medical technician Jodi LeFevre, although she said she doesn’t think the events of Oct. 2 will overshadow the holiday, which she will spend at her mother’s home in Oxford.

“But it will surely be with me,” said LeFevre, who runs with Bart Township Fire Company and was one of the first to arrive at the scene.

“Something like that makes you cherish your family more, and I’m sure I’ll be feeling some of that,” she said.

In the nearly eight weeks since the shootings, LeFevre said she has tried to spend as much time as possible with her sons Eric, 11, and Brandon, 7.

Her husband, George, is the deputy chief of Bart Fire Co., but was not at the scene that day.

LeFevre said she still attends counseling as she feels necessary.

“Right now I still have my good days and my bad days,” she said. “It’s still very fresh ... . The emotions are still raw.

“But Thursday is a day to enjoy time with family and friends, and that’s what I look forward to.”

For Herman Bontrager, the sentiment is much the same.

Bontrager — spokesman for the Nickel Mines Accountability Committee, which handles the disbursement of donations received for the victims and families of the shootings — said he will spend the day at his Akron home with his wife, children and in-laws.

This Thanksgiving, he said he is most thankful for the outpouring of support for both the Amish community and the Roberts family.

“It’s impressive,” he said. “Such a catastrophic event can bring the best out in people, and I’m truly thankful for how this case of ultimate loss has moved people to respond in such a monumental way.”

Bontrager said the tragedy has made him “extremely grateful” for his family and he will savor the time with them this holiday.

“My children are coming home from college, and I’m thankful we’ll all have this time together,” he said. “An event such as this really makes you think about family and how important they are in your life.”

Family also will be on the mind of the Rev. Michael Remel, pastor of Georgetown United Methodist Church, which is about a mile from where the now-demolished school once stood.

In the days following the massacre, Remel and other local pastors held services to help console neighbors, friends and families.

Remel and his son will gather with about 20 family members at his parents’ home in Nazareth today to enjoy a traditional Thanksgiving feast, but he said the events of Oct. 2 will weigh heavily on his heart.

“Personally, it has given me a real insight into the true meaning of family,” Remel said. “And I will cherish the time spent with them this holiday more than ever before. There are families within my own community who do not have that sense of togetherness, and that especially will be on my mind.”

And while many will travel far from the painful memories of the terror unleashed inside the tiny schoolhouse on White Oak Road, Bart Township Fire Chief Curt Woerth will celebrate Thanksgiving at home — in the heart of the Nickel Mines area.

“It’s where I grew up,” he said. “It’s my home, so we wouldn’t celebrate any other place.”

Woerth, along with his wife Diane and two children, will enjoy the day with about 16 family members at his brother-in-law’s home.

“There will be lots of food and lots of football,” he said, but acknowledged the day will be emotional, too.

“It will feel so good to look up at the table and see my children,” Woerth said. “We don’t know what’s going to happen from day to day — we take for granted that when you put them on the school bus each morning, they’ll be getting off of it in the afternoon. But the truth is, we don’t know that.

“More than ever, I appreciate them and love them,” Woerth said.


Jennifer Todd’s e-mail address is jtodd@lnpnews.com.