But members of the Amish families still wanted to meet the gunman's loved ones, Lloyd Welk, Roberts' wife's grandfather, said.

"I don't know how they had the strength to do it," Welk said Sunday night. "For them to express what they thought -- there are no hard feelings, no grudges."

The quiet 32-year-old father of three was buried next to his daughter, Elise Victoria, who died 20 minutes after she was born in 1997.

Roberts wrote in a suicide note to his wife, Marie, that the death of their first-born had plagued him for nine years and might have been one factor that drove him to single out and slay the Amish girls.

The intimate, family-only funeral service at a church in Strasburg focused on the man Roberts was before the world knew him as a murderer.

The family will remember "the Charlie that we knew and loved," his wife's aunt, Jacquie Hess, said. "The Charlie that did this, what was going through his mind, we have no idea."

Sunday morning, Marie Roberts stood before her church congregation and spoke.

"Marie is a very, very strong Christian woman," Hess said.

Marie and Charles met in church and were married for 10 years. He was known to many as a quiet man who dearly loved his family.

Roberts walked his children to the bus stop the same morning he stormed West Nickel Mines School, imprisoned 10 Amish girls and prepared to sexually molest them before police arrived.

Hess said she doesn't know how much Roberts' children have been told.

"They know Daddy is in heaven with their baby sister," she said.

Hess said Roberts' 5-year-old did say to a cousin, "What Daddy did sucks."

A counselor who worked with survivors of the Columbine High School massacre in Littleton, Colo., has offered to meet with Marie and her children, Hess said.

"It's going to be hard for them," she said. "But they are doing good."

The victims' families still hope to sit down with Marie and extend their support for her grieving family.

Donald Kraybill, a nationally recognized scholar on the Amish and an Elizabethtown College professor, said forgiveness is a "heartfelt" component of the Amish religion.

"They see themselves as disciples of Jesus and to live the way of Jesus," Kraybill said.

When Jesus was hanging from the cross he said, ""ˆ'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,'"ˆ" Kraybill said.

"If you can't forgive others, how can your heavenly father forgive you?" Kraybill said. "Some people hold grudges for a lifetime. There is something very wholesome and therapeutic to have that courage to forgive."

Colby Itkowitz's e-mail address is citkowitz@lnpnews.com blog comments powered by Disqus