But the suicide notes he scribbled before shooting 10 Amish girls Monday portray a much darker personality — that of a man tortured by the stillborn death of his first child, and someone fixated by a 20-year-old secret.

“In one note he references an incident that occurred 20 years ago and suggests that incident was a factor in his actions,” Lancaster County District Attorney Donald Totaro said today.

The secret, which Roberts confessed to his wife Monday, was this: that he molested two young family members two decades ago and was having dreams of doing it again.

Police could not confirm the claim, and said that family members knew nothing of the alleged molestation of the family members, who were said to be between 3 and 5 years old.

“Both sides of the Roberts family were interviewed — his parents, his wife. They had no knowledge of any molestation by Roberts affecting any family member or anyone else and this was a complete surprise to them,” state police Col. Jeffrey Miller said at a noon news conference.

A second suicide note references the premature death of his first child 20 minutes after birth in 1997, and “it is very clear he is bitter about that loss,” Totaro said. “The two incidents are not related, but they are both identified by the shooter as possible motives for his actions.”

Miller said Roberts was “very upset and troubled” by the child’s death nine years ago, and in that note “expressed hate toward himself and toward God.”

As investigators piece together the “why” behind the execution-style murders in Bart Township, one thing is clear: Roberts was able to hide the secret and his deepest feelings from everyone — his wife, his parents and his neighbors.

“The man that did this today was not the Charlie I’ve been married to for almost 10 years,” his wife Marie said in a prepared statement read by a family spokesman. “My husband was loving, supportive and thoughtful — all the things you’d always want and more. He was an exceptional father.”

Neighbors of the Roberts family along Georgetown Road said the same thing in interviews this morning.

“My image of him was of an excellent father and husband. He seemed like a happy-go-lucky guy,” said Phyllis Mendenhall, whose daughter once babysat for the Robertses.

“He was quiet, and with his work schedule you didn’t see him outside a whole lot during the day. But when he was, you’d see him playing with his kids,” said Mendenhall.

Members of the rural southeastern Lancaster County community were stunned when they learned Roberts was the gunman behind such a brutal crime.

“Even a terrorist I wouldn’t expect to shoot, execution-style, young girls ... especially someone who appears to be a normal, regular family guy,” said Steve Sipos, another of Roberts’ neighbors.

Sipos saw Roberts Monday morning, getting his kids ready for the school bus as he did most mornings — an image he will not soon forget. “I’ve been thinking all day, If I’d the time to chat. ...”

The only inkling that something was wrong with Roberts in the days and weeks leading up to Monday’s shooting was picked up by his co-workers at Northwest Food Products Transportation, where he worked as a tanker-truck driver.

Roberts, who was typically friendly albeit quiet, became introverted and tense in recent weeks, co-workers told police. The dark mood changed late last week when he suddenly turned jovial, Miller said.

“It seems to us that he may have made a decision to do this within the last few days and seemed to be relieved of some of the pressures that he was exhibiting to some of his co-workers,” Miller said.

Officials at the East Earl company declined to comment this morning. A corporate spokeswoman confirmed only that Roberts drove a truck during the evening shift.

The Robertses have two boys and one girl between the ages of 1 and 7, neighbors said. Their first child, daughter Elise Victoria, died shortly after birth at Lancaster General Hospital on Nov. 14, 1997.

Roberts made reference to the newborn’s death in one of the suicide notes he left for his wife and children, saying “he has had a hard time dealing with the loss of the child,” state police Capt. John Laufer told WGAL.

Totaro said Roberts “blamed God” for the loss in that note.

More intriguing was Roberts’ reference, in a phone call with his wife, that he wanted revenge for something that happened two decades ago.

“He did make a statement to his wife on the phone that he was acting out in a way to achieve revenge for something that happened 20 years ago,” Miller said Monday.

“From what we know at this point, it seems as though he wanted to — to attack young female victims, and this is close to his residence. That’s the only reason we can figure that he went to the school,” Miller said.

Neither Roberts’ wife, parents or in-laws would speak to the New Era this morning.

Roberts, who lived in a small mobile home at 1084 Georgetown Road, was the son of retired Manor Township Sgt. Charles C. Roberts III and his wife, Teresa. They live near Strasburg.

He earned a diploma through a home-school association, and married Marie Lynn Welk on Nov. 9, 1996, at Highview Church of God in Ronks. The couple lived in Lititz before moving to Bart Township in 1999.

The Rev. J. Thomas Lefever, who married the couple, was at a loss to explain what may have caused Monday’s events.

“I’ve come to believe that some secrets belong to God and no one else,” he said.

(Staff writers Anya Litvak and Ryan Robinson contributed to this report.)