I can see it now. Millions of people watching the TV ads rush stores across the nation to buy my latest relationship invention — the RelationStick, or R-Stick for short.
I’d be famous. I’d be rich. I’d be able to understand exactly what my wife wants.
Thanks to technology, life today is drastically more convenient than life a generation ago.
Computers. The Internet. Cell phones.
Digital cameras. Real-time traffic. Doppler.
I-Pods. GPS. HDTV.
While this technology has strengthened our communication with the world, it hasn’t helped with communication where it is needed most — our relationships. The divorce rate is still higher than ever, as the stressful demands of a time-starved society continue to break even the strongest relationships.
By making it easier to talk to the outside world, technology is actually making it more difficult for couples to talk face to face.
Good marital communication takes effort, and many couples aren’t willing to put forth the work that’s needed. They’re looking for the easy way out, the technological shortcut.
I started thinking, What if we could modify technology to work for our relationships? What if technology could help streamline communication in a marriage the way it has helped
streamline communication in the office?
And thus the RelationStick was born.
R-Stick — apply directly to the forehead.
R-Stick — apply directly to the forehead.
R-Stick — apply directly to the forehead.
R-Stick is a sticker that is placed across a person’s forehead. Using cell-phone technology, R-Stick taps into a person’s brain receptors to detect how strong a signal is being received at any given moment. Like the signal display on a cell phone, R-Stick clearly shows the communication signal at all times.
A strong signal — or four hearts — indicates the message is being received EXACTLY how it is meant; a weak signal — one or two hearts — means the person is NOT receiving the message or may be misinterpreting it.
A spouse simply looks at the person’s forehead, reads the R-Stick display and decides whether to continue talking or to move the person to another location.
The R-Stick prevents dropped discussions and encourages couples to continually strengthen their network.
Here is an actual discussion between a wife and her husband, before R-Stick:
WIFE: I was pumping gas, and I rean into adnl and ojtlkdkd nadn ceeek dl and she walked up to me and ojthkdl ando sla love ahdjih flowers and ljionkl nadljkd blurp American Idol a754hdl.c ohjedjks slj djouj blsj djh d. Can you believe that?
HUSBAND: Hard to believe.
The poor wife. She actually thought her man was listening to her. He wasn’t. Over the years, he’s perfected the art of “honey-half-hear.”
With R-Stick, she’d see through his façade. Here, just watch …
WIFE: I was getting gas, and I rean into adnl and ojtlkdkd nadn ceeek dl… WAIT!!! You’re only showing two hearts. Let’s move away from the TV. Can you hear me now? How about now? Good. Let’s start from the beginning …
.000Next column: Relationship inventions, part two — RelationClick, RelationCheck and more!
Joe Vulopas is a freelance writer whose column appears every other Monday in Your Life. He lives in Lititz.
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