Those who lose loved ones know grief -- dark, disturbing, delivering its blows unpredictably.

After losing parents, friends and neighbors, Lititz author Jan Groft found grief also offered some grace.

"For in the darkness, many of us have been touched by illuminating moments, an upward motion that is equally unexpected," she writes in her new book, "As We Grieve: Discoveries of Grace in Sorrow."

The moments can be as simple as noticing a profound remark from a dementia patient, the beauty of a cancer-ridden friend without her wig, the contented expression on the face in the casket.

Groft characterizes these moments as having all the comfort of an embrace.

Her compact 180-page hardcover collects similar experiences related to her by caregivers and survivors, men and women ages 27 to 80 from a variety of backgrounds.

She interprets these experiences as evidence of "God's love tucked into the unlikely folds of loss and grief."

These moments are gifts of hope that, while unique, come in common varieties tailored just for the recipient, she writes. Short chapters highlight experiences of being embraced by discovery, memories, humor, strength, faith, art, wisdom, gratitude and community.

Each chapter concludes with a suggestion for writing and reflection, such as writing a list of 100 memories of someone the reader has loved and lost or a list of 100 things for which the reader is grateful. Groft also invites readers to post their own discovery of grace in grief at her Web site, aswegrieve.com.

The book, published by Graham House Books at $15.95, seems ideal for use in a grief support group; reading it is like having a support group on paper. In a jacket blurb, Episcopal Bishop Nathan D. Baxter praises its "articulate candor ... sensitivity, grace ... and deep spiritual wisdom."

The author, who lives in Lititz, sold her award-winning advertising agency in order to write. She earned a Master of Fine Arts degree in writing from Vermont College. Her 2004 memoir, "Riding the Dog: My Father's Journey Home," concerned her father's terminal illness. She also works with hospice patients and conducts writing workshops for the bereaved.

The author will sign her book at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 19, at Lititz Public Library, 651 Kissel Hill Road; 7-9 p.m. Friday, Jan. 22, at Barnes & Noble Booksellers, 1700 Fruitville Pike; 7 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 2, at Grace Lutheran Church, 517 N. Queen St.; and 5-9 p.m. on First Friday, Feb. 5, at the Lancaster Literary Guild, 113 N. Lime St. She is scheduled to talk at 7:30 that evening.