My apologies to Arkansas. And Illinois.

When Indiana was nicknamed the "Hoosier State," it sent folks scrambling for dictionaries to see just what the heck a "Hoosier" was. Most recently, Indiana is known as "The State That Almost Killed Cary Grant With a Crop Duster Plane."

Iowa is called the "Hawkeye State" because its residents really like the TV show "M*A*S*H."

Kansas is the "Sunflower State" or, to those who watch the Weather Channel, the "Funnel Cloud State."

Kentucky is the "Bluegrass State," after an ecological condition caused by all those racehorses peeing on the ground over such a long period of time.

Louisiana has several nicknames, including the "Pelican State," after an ugly bird with a large goiter under its bill, and the "Bayou State," which conjures up a romantic picture of a stinking, steaming swamp. The state motto is "Union, justice and confidence; until the dikes break."

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Maine is often called the "Pine Tree State" because the state has 17 million acres of white pine trees. This led to Maine's alternate nickname, the "State that Smells Like Pine-Sol." Its motto is "Help! We're lost in the forest and can't get out."

Maryland was dubbed the "Old Line State" during the American Revolution. During the Civil War, the state supplied soldiers to both the North and South, earning it the nickname of the "We Don't Know Which Side We're On State." Today, however, it's called, "The State That Gave You Spiro Agnew."

Massachusetts calls itself the "Bay State" because of its proximity to several large bays. Well, the state also has several large sewers, so why can't it also be called the "Sewer State"?

Michigan is nicknamed the "The Wolverine State," which is reflected in its motto, "Bite me."

Even though it has some 12,000 lakes, Minnesota is called the "Land of 10,000 Lakes." For simplicity's sake, maybe it should've been called the "We're Up to Our Wazoos in Water State." Better yet, based on my own experience when I drove through Minnesota in 2002, I dubbed it the "Dead Deer Along the Highway State."

Mississippi, the "Magnolia State," is also called the "Hospitality State." If that's true, it's only been since 1995, because that was the year Mississippi voted to ratify the 13th Amendment repealing slavery.

Missouri is one of those states that drove out the Indians, then named the state after them. Its nickname is the "Show Me State." This is because Missouri is the Gateway to the West, but once people from the East saw how flat and barren things were, they cried, "Show me the way outta here."

Montana is called the "We Killed Custer State." It's also known as the "Treasure State," but nobody knows why.

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I understand that farming is important to people from Nebraska, but is that any excuse to call it the "Cornhusker State?" And their people cornhuskers? I mean, why stop there? Why not also call themselves the "Cow Pie Shovelers" or the "Hog Sloppers?"

Nevada, formerly known as the "Ponderosa," is known as the "Silver State," so named for the gleaming silver hair of its leading citizen, Ben Cartwright. The state motto is "Pa! Little Joe's in trouble."

New Hampshire's nickname, "The Granite State," comes from the early settlers who tried to farm it, only to discover that the land consists of about 1 inch of topsoil over 80,000 feet of solid rock.

When the founders of New Jersey nicknamed it the "Garden State," they laughed until they wet their knickers.

New Mexico has been dubbed the "Land of Enchantment" in honor of its first governor, Peter Pan, while New York's nickname, the "Empire State," comes from the fact that it is the home of the Empire State building. The state motto is, "Excelsior," which means "I can't flag down a %#@$& taxi cab."

North Carolina is now called the "Old North State," but for years it was known as the "Old East State." The name was changed when someone noticed that the map was being viewed sideways.

Stay tuned for more nicknames.

E-mail Larry Alexander at lalexander@lnpnews.com. blog comments powered by Disqus