Time again to look at comments from letters, e-mails and Internet postings. You can't make up this kind of stuff.

• From a post on TalkBack (LancasterOnline.com's community forum), after I noted that a man charged with two bank robberies should have been suspected the moment he entered one bank wearing a Pittsburgh Pirates cap:

"From a lifelong Pirates fan, thanks for the good belly laugh!"

The laugh was on me. After that was printed, the Pirates beat the Phillies two out of three games.

In theory?
• Sometimes readers prove my point.

After I wrote a column on the silliness of conspiracy theories and noted that a gag headline in a satirical newspaper years ago proclaimed President John Kennedy was murdered by the "CIA, Mafia, Castro, LBJ, Teamsters and Freemasons," another local Web site responded:

"Two pieces of information for Adams: Kennedy was possibly murdered by one of them, and perhaps two plotting together."

Also commenting on that column, a reader on TalkBack posted an item under the heading of "U.S. Presidents Murdered By Rothschild Bankers."

In that scenario, a U.S. Congressman closing in on the truth died when his airliner was shot down — by the Soviets in 1983.

Paging "24's" Jack Bauer.

And continuing on that thread, another TalkBack poster wrote:

"I saw Bigfoot getting out of a UFO. He got into a buggy."

Finally, someone who makes sense.

• From an e-mail:

"I am Chen Guangyuan. I have a business worth $17.3 million, if you are interested, get back to me at (e-mail address).

Sorry, Chen. I've invested my money with some fine Nigerian businessmen.

• From an e-mail:

"Gil Smart's column on Aug. 16 refers to the town-hall meeting conducted by Sen. Arlen Specter. This article betrays Smart for the close-minded, win-at-all-costs partisan that he is."

From another e-mail:

"You should apologize for Mr. Smart."

And still another e-mail about Gil:

"I proudly canceled my subscription due to the repeated insults Gil Smart leveled at me and everybody else who isn't a libel [liberal?]."

I am shocked to find out that Gil is partisan. I'm glad no other columnists or commentators are like that.

• In a letter from a reader who questioned my use of the word "me" in a note on daughter Abigail:

"If Abigail is smarter than you, I think she would have said ' ... than I.' "

My reply: "Woe is I."

A 5th freedom?
• A posting on TalkBack from a writer whose meandering letter I had the audacity to edit:

"You do not have the right to edit our letters!!! Shove your word count ... !!

"Men and women did not sacrifice their lives for your freedoms to enable you to serve yourselves and your shareholders!!!

"These freedoms are for you to serve the people. ... You make a mockery of those who fought for freedom!!"

Didn't I tell you that you can't make up stuff like this? (I think I also need to put a limit on exclamation points.)

Not all ears
I am accused at home of having "selective hearing." It bothers daughter Abigail, 13.

"It's hard to insult you when you don't listen," she said.