The puzzle about puzzles: If I’m smart, why do I feel so stupid?
By Jane Holahan
Updated Feb 19, 2007 15:52
No brainiac, mind you, but smart enough.
But now I’m wondering if this is a delusion.
Sure, I can figure out the tip on a restaurant bill, I enjoy reading heavy-duty literature (OK, I used to enjoy reading heavy-duty literature), and I got through school pretty easily.
But when it comes to puzzles, I wonder if my IQ isn’t somewhere in the basement.
Tackling a crossword puzzle makes me feel like an idiot.
Sudoku is beyond me.
And logic puzzles? I find them illogical.
Please tell me I’m not alone. Please tell me there are other intelligent people out there who can’t fill in a crossword puzzle to save their lives; who tear up the newspaper in despair when they try a Sudoku puzzle; who stare blankly into space when trying to figure out exactly what several words have in common.
Please tell me it’s perfectly normal for a person’s brain to simply shut down and refuse to cooperate.
Genetically, I should be a whiz at crossword puzzles. My dad did the New York Times puzzle in ink every Sunday. My grandmother and various aunts and uncles were all crossword enthusiasts. From the time I was a pre-teen, someone was always asking me for some pop-culture reference for a puzzle they were doing.
Usually, I was a big help when the answer was something like “H.R. Pufnstuf” or “David Cassidy.”
But how am I supposed to know the “modern name for old Cipango” in five letters or “Oxlike antelope” in five letters, both clues from a recent New York Times puzzle?
Looking through that puzzle, about the only clue I know the answer to is “ ‘Green Acres’ co-star.” (Eva Gabor, of course!)
I can hear my grandmother asking, “What is ‘Green Acres’ anyway?”
Are you smarter knowing the modern name for old Cipango or who starred in ‘Green Acres’? Who’s to say?
I believe Sudoku, which the New Era carries along with a slew of other puzzles such as Wordy Gurdy, Celebrity Cipher, Jumble crossword and Word sleuth, was invented to make me feel stupid.
The rules are quite simple: There is a grid with nine boxes in it. Each of these boxes has nine squares in it. The goal is to fill the entire grid so that every row, every column and every three-by-three box contains the digits 1 through 9. They fill in some of the numbers for you, and there are different levels of difficulty.
Sounds reasonable.
OK, have you sat down and actually tried to do it?
Without cheating?
You put a number in and soon enough realize it’s the wrong number. You put another one down, and the same thing happens. This goes on endlessly.
But Sudoku is hugely popular. People love it.
Me, I figure life itself gives me enough aggravation, why add to it?
When I was a kid, my dad loved to offer us brain teasers. His favorites were about cannibals and missionaries or tribes of truthtellers and liars.
I never solved them. And when my dad explained the answer, my brain was busy thinking about something else, like David Cassidy.
He bought those Rubik’s Cubes. I had to try to make the sides of the cubes all the same color.
My brother would patiently work on them until he solved the problem. I tried, for about a minute and a half, and then I’d end up throwing them across the room, trying to break them.
Is he smarter than I?
Don’t answer that question.
Thomas Edison would side with my brother. He famously said, “Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”
I prefer a quote from E.B. White, author of “Stuart Little” and “Charlotte’s Web”.
“Genius,” he said, “is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.”
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The Voices column is written by a rotating team of New Era staffers. It appears Mondays.
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