This week I reached out for a big, honking Brownie Batter Blizzard, one of the all-time favorite Blizzards at America's roadside dessert cart, Dairy Queen, with 5,600 restaurants coast to coast — but mostly about five miles ahead in a small town.

The Brownie Batter Blizzard is the Blizzard of the Month for June (so much for global warming).

Here's the blueprint: a big ladle full of brownie batter and chocolate-fudge brownie bits swirled through a large 21-ounce cup of Dairy Queen's iconic vanilla soft-serve ice cream.

Total calories: 1,200. Fat grams: 71. Carbs: 129 grams. Dietary fiber: 2 grams. Manufacturer's suggested retail price: $3.99.

Wow! That's a lot of calories and fat grams. The last time I drove some friends to get a Blizzard, we had to move people to the other side of the backseat to redistribute the weight. I felt so tubby, I was afraid I'd tip over the car.

Dairy Queen also has a medium 16-ounce cup for $3.49 and a small 12-ouncer for $3.09. But you know our slogan about small and medium in the drive-thru: No gut, no glory. Small and medium cost much more, pro-rated. Plus, I'm still hungry.

We love Blizzards. They are cups of DQ soft-serve gently swirled with demonic mix-ins, such as candy-bar bits and pastry. The delightful drive-thru attendant must turn it upside down before serving — to show how rich and thick it is. If you're paying $3.99 for a dessert with 1,200 calories, you're pretty rich and thick yourself.

But if anything is worth that tonnage, it's the Brownie Batter Blizzard. It's gloppy and chocolatey and fantastically delicious. It really tastes like when your mother was making brownies and you licked the wooden baking spoon. And then you'd use the wooden spoon as a microphone to sing. If you're still doing that — stop. Your kids think you're a goof. That's what karaoke bars are for.

Everybody loves a warm, chewy brownie fresh from the oven, but brownie batter is one of those foods that taste much better raw than properly cooked. It's wet and sweet and a sneaky taste of the forbidden, since that's not what the directions on the box say.

Chocolate-chip cookie dough is another. I buy the tube at the supermarket and eat it like a carrot on the way home; baking is for suckers.

But Steak Tartare? No! Here's where I draw the line. Cook it. But don't burn it — make mine medium-rare.

Blizzards are fun no matter what, but the best spoonfuls are those with a bulky mix-in. First the ice cream goes down smooth and creamy, then you've got something to chew on. A nice touch of fudge brownie is nothing to "truffle" with.

This month, you're going to see DQ's commercial where the brownie-loving guy gets his tongue caught in the electric mixer trying to lick batter off the blades. It's one of the best fast-food commercials ever.

Here's the only way to make a Brownie Batter Blizzard even better — but it's not easy. You have to find a Dairy Queen that serves chocolate soft-serve. Only a few do. Or, do like me: Ask them to squeeze off a round of chocolate hot fudge in your Brownie Batter Blizzard to make it even deeper and darker chocolate. If you're already committed to 1,200 calories for dessert, how's another shot of fudge going to hurt?

Ken Hoffman's syndicated column appears Wednesdays.