'King of the Pennypinchers' finds little for one red cent
By Ryan Robinson
Updated Feb 19, 2007 15:52
But perhaps not for long. The nation’s oldest form of currency is under attack.
For the first time, it costs more than a penny to make a penny — as much as 1.4 cents — even though the copper Abe Lincolns are now actually only 2.5 percent copper.
One calculation estimated that American businesses lose $15 billion (1.5 trillion pennies) a year while their employees are counting pennies during transactions.
Some want to retire pennies, forever. You can’t buy anything for a penny, the Antipennymen argue.
As King of the Pennypinchers, I aimed to test that contention.
First stop, Valu-Plus on North Queen Street. A lot for $1. Nothing for a penny.
Then I smelled the Super Bread Colombian Bakery. A fresh sweet bread role for 50 cents? No thanks.
At King Tobacco Outlet, five sticks of Wrigley’s Chewing Gum cost 30 cents.
Rite-Aid’s cheapest offering was an individually-wrapped Andes Creme de Menthe, for 25 pennies.
The post office gave me a 1-cent American Kestrel bird stamp.
I also got a story from the clerk: a woman told him getting rid of pennies is “the first step to a cashless society.”
Evidence of the conspiracy was right outside — the parking meters did not take pennies.
At the Sunoco APlus at Orange and Prince streets, I got a Reese’s Miniatures peanut butter cup and a little York Peppermint Patty for 15 pennies each.
As I counted out 30 pennies, other shoppers went to another clerk.
At the 99 Cent Store on East King Street, little plastic trucks and Super Balls were 3 for $1. Nothing for a penny.
At A Loaf of Bread Bakery on North Queen Street, sugar cookies were also 3 for $1.
Owner Sadie Smith said I could taste a sample for free, but not for a penny.
In fact, the Antipennywoman said she prices items — like coffee for $1.17, soup for $2.83 — so after tax, the total price does not include random cents.
On to Home Depot on the Fruitville Pike, where a ¼-inch, zinc-plated hex nut cost me 4 pennies.
A clerk had to hit a few keys on a keyboard because the nut wasn’t heavy enough to register in the baggage area.
At Party City of Lancaster, I got a plastic kazoo all the way from China for 20 cents and a caramel Sugar Daddy for five cents. I did pay a penny for tax.
The clerk remarked about how dirty my pennies were and even declined to take two that were stuck together.
“I just got them this morning from a bank,” I assured her, to no avail.
At OfficeMax, I bought two sheets of paper for eight pennies, got them stapled for two pennies and paid another cent in sales tax. Uncle Sam is killing me, I thought.
The nice clerk there pulled the stuck-together pennies apart for me, and pretended to ignore my sifting through the lint in my palm for pennies.
The clerks at Weis, I must say, were a little less cordial.
I asked the man in the deli for one slice of his cheapest bologna.
“You want what?” he asked.
“One slice, and please make it thin.”
Despite his scowl, he held the .03-pound piece up and asked if it was OK.
“Perfect.”
On to the Candy Shoppe display in the store, where you can buy all kinds of candy by the pound.
I plopped a single Atomic FireBall in a bag and went to check out. I used my Weis card, noticing the bologna was on sale for $2.49 a pound.
I think the clerk made a mistake, however, charging me nine cents for the bologna instead of .0747 cents.
I did not complain because my Atomic FireBall weighed zero on her scale. She threw it in for free.
This is when I remembered, on the hot day, the chocolate in my pocket.
The messy Peppermint Patty and peanut butter cup hit the spot. The bologna slice capped a 39-cent lunch.
One thing left to do. I went into the Ming Court Buffet, pausing in front of the large goldfish display.
I wished for world peace, a savior for the Phillies pitching staff and for the Freon in my car air conditioner to last all summer.
I tossed in a shiny penny and forgot to ask the cost of a fortune cookie.
(The Voices column is written by a rotating team of New Era staffers. It appears Mondays.)
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