I was grocery shopping the other night thinking about all the stuff I should have done earlier: write out the bills, vacuum the carpet. And, oh my gosh, I forgot to order my basset hound Barney’s flea meds.


My mind floated to the fact that Barney is 10 and oh, what am I going to do when he dies? They’ll have to put me to sleep, too.


When I got home, I discovered I had forgotten the paper towels.


I was talking to my sister on the phone in Ohio the other day while thinking how utterly sad I was that I couldn’t just hop in the car and drive over and kiss my niece and nephew.


Then my mind wandered further and I thought about the world they are inheriting. What if they become victims of terrorism, global warming or some other apocalyptic disaster?


The other night, a friend didn’t return my phone call. My feelings were hurt.


There are periods of my life when I do better than others, but there are two lessons I keep forgetting even though practicing them more diligently would profoundly improve my life.


They are: To let go of things I cannot control. And, to live in the moment, to practice “mindfulness” and not let my mind wander so crazily.


My colleague Steve and I recently did a package of stories on stress and the theme kept coming up about letting go. It’s the premise of the sublime “Serenity Prayer,’’ which transcends any religion or belief system.


It’s the basis of the 12-step programs, which are used to help people recover from a variety of ailments from alcoholism to overeating.


Business guru Stephen Covey, author of that gem “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” refers to the very same thing as working in your “circle of influence.” If you work on the things you can do something about you will improve your life and actually expand your circle of control.


Yes, I would have had an easier drive to work had Orange Street been clear, but I could have soothed myself with breathing exercises, as was suggested by one psychologist I interviewed.


Barney is going to die eventually, but I can take him for more walks, something he loves.


If I had a lot of money I could take a private jet to see my niece and nephew. If I had a magic wand, I would make everything in the world beautiful for them.


Not going to happen.


But I can do a few small things to make their world better. I could be more conscientious about the environment and make my own small contribution to eliminating global warming. I could write them letters and tell them how much I love them.


I would have been happy if my friend would have called me back, but I could have called another friend who I know loves me unconditionally.


As the prayer goes, it is all about accepting the things you cannot change, changing the things you can and asking a higher power — whatever that means to you — for the wisdom to know the difference.




Patricia Poist is a staff writer for the Living section. Write to her at: ppoist@lnpnews.com. blog comments powered by Disqus