Calling Rebate Man: Please help save us from ourselves
By Ryan Robinson
Updated Feb 19, 2007 15:52
Too late for that.
It’s a call for soldiers to war against the deceptive gimmicks known as “rebates.”
Chances are you’ve bought something that included a “money-saving” rebate.
For the good of the world and our children’s future, join me and pledge to never do so again.
Flashback to Dec. 10.
My wife and I set out to buy a digital camera for about $150.
We end up forking over $180 in an attempt to exorcise the red-eye demons that invade our children’s bodies during photographs.
Then we’re offered a printer with the camera.
Check this out, the salesman says: $150 in rebates on a $210 printer.
That’s when Rebate Man should have galloped in on his horse and stopped me, like Trojan Man in those commercials.
He didn’t.
Armed with a college education and my share of anal retentiveness, I felt up to the task of redeeming my three separate $50 rebate coupons.
I followed the small-print directions, which included sending in the UPC symbol from the printer’s box.
Four months later, I got $50 back and no explanation as to why the others didn’t work.
I also had cut out the UPC symbol from the printer’s box as required for the rebates, so when I decided I didn’t like the printer and wanted to return it, too bad.
Now, I’ve engaged in another rebate war.
A resort company promised $25 of gas for going to one of their weekend vacations.
After my March vacation, I did not get $25. I got a “Gas-To-Go certificate.”
I filled it out and sent it to Florida. In April, I received a “Gas To Go Activation Acknowledgment” letter in the mail, with five $5 gas rebate coupons.
This is the point many conclude the offer is not worth the hassle and resume their daily lives.
But instead of playing Memory with my children, exercising or cooking a dinner more sophisticated than Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, I continue working to get my $25, at any cost.
It is no longer about economics, but principle.
Tom Cruise, watch out. The first part of my mission impossible has been completed: I mailed an original gas receipt and one of the coupons May 10.
The receipt has to be within 7 days of the postmark on my envelope.
I can only send one coupon every 30 days, and all of them must be redeemed by Oct. 12.
My signature must be in black ink and can only be signed during a full moon.
The task will not be easy. I must plan ahead and stick to the red tape road.
I think of all those like me spending so much time accomplishing nothing.
Is a potential Albert Einstein or Pablo Picasso fumbling away time making copies of receipts for their rebate files?
Andrew Goode of the Better Business Bureau says about 40 percent of rebates go unclaimed.
So companies that employ them keep the money of 40 percent of their customers and steal rare free time from the rest.
They are the snake-oil salesmen of our day, and we are the “suckers born every minute.”
Empower yourself and join the army. Resist rebates with all your might. Patronize honest companies that don’t offer them.
Complain to the BBB. Write Congress. If you can ride a horse, buy a cape and blaze the good trail.
I’d do it myself, but thanks to rebates, I haven’t got the time.
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The Voices column is written by a rotating team of New Era staffers. It appears Mondays.
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