For Barbara Rennix, Lois Walters, Jennifer Sands, Elaine Cook, Belinda Graybill and so many other women, a single, transforming moment in each of their lives changed their identities from wives ... to widows.

Their husbands' deaths.

"It was the saddest, most difficult moment of my life when Jim died," said Rennix, of Ephrata. "The hardest part of all was the incredible loneliness."

Rennix and other women involved in the support group Widow2Widow hope to show area widows that they are not alone. They want to help soften the loneliness with a special, supportive friendship.

The Ephrata and Quarryville groups of Widow2Widow will be holding a national retreat and conference for women whose husbands have died; the event will be held Friday, Sept. 12, through Sunday, Sept. 14, at Black Rock Retreat, Route 472, just outside of Quarryville.

The conference, "A Widow's Journey and God's Provision," has been designed to tackle the many issues widows of all ages face.

Keynote speaker will be Jennifer Sands; her husband died in the Sept. 11 attack on the World Trade Center.

"My hope is that the widow's retreat will lift their spirit, encourage their heart, and deepen their faith in God," said Sands. "I want to remind them that God can bring forth many blessings from our brokenness — if we allow Him to work in our lives."

Loneliness
Rennix was 65 when her husband died of a heart attack in October 2005. Although Jim Rennix had been in poor health after suffering four strokes, he was a trouper, getting around in a motorized scooter and volunteering at Ephrata Community Hospital.

To his wife of 45 years, he seemed almost indestructible.

But he was not.

"When Jim died, I was left with a profound loneliness. I went to our home with only our dog and cat. I just cried and cried," she recalled.

Barbara Rennix worked with Cornerstone Pregnancy Services, where she met Lois Walters, a nurse and also a widow.

Walters, of Quarryville, invited Rennix to a meeting of supportive women, Widow2Widow. There wasn't an Ephrata group then, so Rennix traveled all the way to Quarryville to attend the W2W meetings there. Although Barbara's five children were a great support, they had lives and families of their own; and so, there were times when Walters drove all the way from the southern end of the county to the northern end, to get Rennix to meetings.

"Eventually, Barbara started an Ephrata group. It's now bigger than the Quarryville group," said Walters, noting that there are about 10 women who regularly attend in Quarryville and about 20 in Ephrata.

Time in Tennessee
Walters, 55, was just 51 when she became a widow in 2004. She had been married to Raymond Davis for 33 years, having three children. He died shortly after being diagnosed with cancer.

Walters turned to Widow2Widow, founded by Elaine Cook of Nashville, Tenn.

Walters attended a retreat and conference in Tennessee and came home, eager to start the Quarryville chapter.

"The group is especially for women, because we become a great support for each other," said Walters.

Although she never imagined it, Walters did eventually remarry. Her husband, Dennis, 66, was a widower whose wife had died of cancer. The two who had lost their spouses, met at a Relay for Life event and began dating after a time.

Both had been happy in their first marriages and wanted to share that bond again. They know the pain of having a marriage end when "death does them part."

And Walters, who remembered the sense of comfort she attained by attending the conference in Tennessee, had an idea: hold a similar conference and retreat for widows at the Black Rock site.

9/11 widow
For the Pennsylvania retreat, women from all over the country are invited to get together in Quarryville. The three-day weekend will feature speakers, helpful programs, luncheons and dinners, as well as keynote speaker Jennifer Sands.

A Point Pleasant, N.J., resident, Sands became a widow on that fateful Sept. 11 morning when terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in New York City. Her husband, Jim Sands, worked in one of the towers and was among the thousands who died. From that moment on, Sands found that her life had changed drastically. Her dreams of growing old with her husband had died.

"Back then, no one could convince me I would recover from losing Jim," recalled Sands.

Like Widow2Widow founder Cook, Sands turned her tragedy into helping others cope with loss. She became an author, writing two books, and turned toward her faith in God to get her through the pain.

Her appearance at the conference and retreat is intended to share a message of hope, she noted, for other widows who have suffered loss and feared that they could not go on.

Conference call
Cook will also speak at the retreat. After her husband, Stan Cook, died of a heart attack when he was just 46, she became a single mother to her then-11-year-old son; she was only 37. The sorrow is still vivid for her. "I felt that my heart was broken and would never be whole again," she recalled.

She turned her grief into an organization intended to help widows of all ages and experiences. The retreat will bring widows together to share their sorrow and their hope. In addition to Sands and Cook, the conference and retreat will feature Lititz widow Belinda Graybill, local leader of "Wisdom for Widows" ministry, and many other local widows sharing testimonies of hope.

Music will be provided by Nashville recording artist and Widow2Widow worship leader Peggy Reeves, and by local artists Cindy Wilson and Elizabeth Hackman.

Conference fee is $195 for the full weekend, or $25 for a selected session; some scholarships are available.

Widows who want to attend "A Widow's Journey and God's Provision" should call New Hope Community Life Ministries, 786-2802, or check the Web site www.widow2widow.org.

Can you help?
Widow2Widow and New Hope Community Life Ministries, Quarryville, is offering an "Adopt a Widow" opportunity for the public to help women whose husbands have died.

"Unfortunately, many widows do not have the money or the transportation to attend [the Widow2Widow retreat at Black Rock]," wrote Lois Walters and Barbara Rennix, of the Quarryville and Ephrata W2W groups, respectively, in an online letter.

"Would you consider providing assistance to help a widow [who] could benefit from a conference that will provide fellowship with other widows and hope for the future through the love of God and others? The conference fee is $195, which includes lodging, food and conference materials."

Checks should be made to W2W Inc. and mailed to Widow2Widow Inc., 124 Baker Springs Lane, Spring Hill, TN 37174.