I believe in autism awareness.
More specifically, I believe in high-functioning autism understanding.
As a 15-year-old girl diagnosed with a form of high-functioning autism called Asperger's syndrome, I have never fit in with my peers.
It wasn't until sixth grade that I realized this, though.
That was the year I started memorizing digits of pi, random trivia facts and how to spell long words.
These things are my best friends.
I don't have to worry how to act around them. It is a lot easier for me to read the dictionary, a book of trivia or memorize pi than it is to socialize, and I truly enjoy doing those things.
I clearly remember that terrifying day in seventh grade, when the history teacher asked if he could see me after class.
I knew he was going to ask me why I didn't do my homework.
Immediately, I started rehearsing what I was going to tell him, because I'm not very good at talking on the spot.
While I was looking at a desk, trying to listen to him, he said something like, "Hello! My eyes are up here! Look at me when I'm talking to you."
I really tried to, but something in me was unbearable as I attempted to look up.
It was (and still is) incredibly painful.
I think I met his penetrating gaze for about a second.
Eye contact is extremely frightening for people with autism.
I hate that some people have no idea how hard it is for us.
It's also hard for me to know what to say or do when, for example, a girl I knew asked me, "What's up?"
I hate that expression, because I never know what to say to it.
I said, "The smoke detector."
She laughed.
Another day, my orchestra teacher screeched, "What part of 'Be quiet' do you not understand?"
I replied, "The 'quiet' part."
I never saw a teacher so mad at someone for answering a question.
I tend to take things literally and find it hard to distinguish rhetorical questions.
Maybe if she understood me, we would get along better.
I am apparently an easy target for bullies. They probably don't even care why I am a nerd. I am made fun of every day at one time or another. I'm pretty used to it by now.
One thing that's really hard about Asperger's is that if people don't know the traits, they won't know how to treat us.
If you care enough to know more, I want you to read "Asperger's Syndrome," by Tony Attwood; "Emergence: Labeled Autistic," or anything else by Temple Grandin; and "Look Me in the Eye," by John Robison.
It also helps to know that every person with autism is unique.
I hope that soon, everyone will try their best to understand autism, because I believe understanding makes the world better for everyone.
Amanda Phillips is a freshman at Manheim Central High School. E-mail her at YourLife@LNPnews.com. 
