More than 170 readers submitted clever captions for last month's "Pass the Word" feature photo of two horses at a Kirkwood farm.

We can publish only a portion of those funny lines today; but samples from all contributors who followed our guidelines are on Lancaster Newspapers' Web site, www.LancasterOnline.com.

We did receive submissions with common themes; thus, the multiple names following some of the captions printed here today.

This month's photo, shot by Sunday News photographer Jeff Ruppenthal, shows Blizzard, a white boxer who was peering over the bottom half of an old-fashioned split door in Annville.

Guidelines:
Send an original, amusing caption to LIVING@LNPNEWS.COM.

Please put this in the subject line of your e-mail: "Pass the Word" [Insert your last name].

You are also welcome to send a caption to us via the U.S. Postal Service: "Pass the Word" Living, Sunday News, P.O. Box 1328, Lancaster, PA 17608-1328.

We must receive your submission no later than Monday, April 21.

Be sure to include your full name and town of residence (as well as a daytime telephone number, which will not be published).

We reserve the right to edit your work.

• Share your wit! Send us those captions!

"So, why the long face?"

— Bill Curtis, Brownstown; John J. Donati, Lancaster; Joannie Kachel, Ephrata; Aimee E. Ketchum, Lititz; Marlin King, Honey Brook; and Lester Howard Rhoads, Lancaster

"Wanna horse around?"

— Linda Bloom, Lancaster; Dottie Bohince, Lancaster; Kevin Gantz, East Petersburg; Wendy Harris, Paradise; Philip Lafferty, Mount Joy; Dr. Edward D. Maley, Lancaster; Lorraine Meashey, Mount Joy; Robert E. Rhoads, Ephrata; and Roy Weik, Stevens

 "... Stop horsin' around!"

— Charles F. Eshleman, Lancaster;

Joan Heisey, Landisville; and Cynthia Nauman, Lancaster

Now, for something different:

"I wish she'd get off my back."

— Ruth F. Weaver, New Holland

"You're my mane man."

— Marlene Bowman, Ronks

"Sorry for standing so close, but I'm a little hoarse."

— Deb Gilgore, Lancaster, and

Elisabeth S. Shuster, Manheim

"I just got new shoes! Four custom-fit in a dreamy shade of silver."

— Gina Baron, Lancaster

"Two donkeys and an elephant went into a barrrrrn ..."

— Carol Wenger, New Holland

"So who's Holly?"

— Holly Mele, Mountville, and Rose Voloshin, Lancaster

"Get a load of that old nag over there."

— Emmy Lou Nevin, New Holland

"Go nag somemare else."

— Carmine J. Taglieri, Lancaster

The Horse Whisperers

— Virginia Joline, Lancaster

"I'll help if I can. What are NEIGHbors for?"

— James L. Keefer, Elizabethtown

"I don't know about you, but I'm tired of being a neigh-sayer."

— Murray Miller, Strasburg

Ebony and Ivory, live together in perfect harmo-NEIGH

— Marie K. Bracken, Lancaster, and Karlla W. Brigatti, Lancaster

"You think they'll ever stop calling this a one-horse town?"

— Dominic Kunkle, Denver

"Hey, don't stall me any longer. Your paddock or mine?"

— Carol McGrath, Atglen

"Sure, I'd like to go out to pasture, but I've lost too much in my 401Hay!"

— James Greenwald, Manheim

"Who's your daddy?"

— Joan Mohr, Marietta

"Hey, did you hear that Ed is off the wagon and back out in the field?"

— Elizabeth A. Willis, Drumore

"Yeah, I did get kinda carried away with the baby powder, didn't I?"

— Valerie Cifuni, Lancaster

"Well, I heard she had her hooves AND her teeth done."

— Hannah Miron, Lancaster

"It's not that I'm unhappy that we don't look like Republicans. I just wish we looked a little less like Democrats!

— Monica A. Murray, Little Britain

"What with the skirt?"

— Ruddy Hernandez, Lancaster

"It's a kilt."

— Lisa Weaver, Ronks

"That's the third time you bucked him off this week! Did you forget there's a horse sale on Monday?"

— Tyler Smucker, age 13, Leola

"Oh, yeah, well I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say ... oh, sorry. I forgot about your mother."

— Drew Gibble, Lititz

And there's more!
Here are some more captions submitted by Sunday News readers. (Although many sent multiple options, we are only posting one caption per contributor.)

"Hi, NEIGHbor. Don't look so down. I told you the grass isn't always greener."

— Kathy Knauer, Akron

"My, you're handsome. And I love your eyeshadow."

— Eli S. Lapp, Akron

"Well, hi, Big Boy; do you come here often?"

— Jenny Caley, Bainbridge

"Ooh! I like your knickers!"

— Meredith Lombard, Columbia

"Boxers or briefs?"

— Shelly Ritzman, Columbia

"You know, Helen, if she would fix her hair differently, she'd look just like Hillary Clinton."

— Regina M. Sherick, Columbia

"Well, I guess you got a time-out, too!"

— Jim Walk, Columbia

"Do you wanna make a wager on who can throw this guy the farthest?"

— Thelma J. Williams, Columbia

"I don't believe in kissing on the first date."

— Barbara A. Fasnacht, Denver

"A feed salesman, a veterinarian and a blacksmith walk into a bar ..."

— Cindy Sherman, East Earl

"Hey! Wanna do lunch today? ... Meet you at the trough."

— Tammy Gantz, East Petersburg

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?

— Betty S. Nauman, East Petersburg

"Did you know I'm related to Mr. Ed?"

— Mike Bissinger, Elizabethtown

"We've got to stop meeting like this!"

— Bill Brady, Elizabethtown

"So what shall we have for breakfast this morning, dear? Honey Oats or Shredded Wheat?

— Teresa A. Saylor, Elizabethtown

"And you: stud farm or glue factory?"

— William L. Seigford, Elizabethtown

"It's not you; it's me."

— Kimberly A. Wolgemuth, Elizabethown

"Your stall or mine?"

— Glenn Buchter, Ephrata

"Then she said, 'I want to bake a pie. I've seen Granny Smith and Gala, but where can I buy road apples?' "

— Helen Hauck, Ephrata

"So, who do you like in the third race at Penn National?"

— Barry Kachel, Ephrata

"Listen, Obama, if I become the Democratic presidential nominee, I will make you my running mate."

— Larry Kofroth, Ephrata

"Nay, Buddy! Haven't you heard? Hillary has no horse sense. We have to vote for Obama."

— Kathryn E. Martin, Ephrata

"Hey, good-looking, what are you doing later?"

— Sandy Snook, Ephrata

"Hey, weren't you in the original 'Godfather' movie?"

—  David Thornton, Ephrata

"Good morning, Jake. How are YOU doing?" "This morning, Pete, I have been feeling a little blue."

— Betty J. Wise, Ephrata

"I'm telling you, Wilbur, there's something funny 'bout those oats we just had. Watch out! I think my methane footprint just doubled."

— Richard Paul Baldauf, Gordonville

"Howdy. My name is Mr. Ed. What's yours?"

— Sharon Almond, Lancaster

"Try to act casual, Snowflake. I think I see a bag of carrots."

— Bert L. Baker, Lancaster

"It's impolite to stare. And, no, I'm not related to the Lone Ranger's horse Silver."

— Linta C. Baldwin, Lancaster

"Your place or mine?"

— Bill Bard, Lancaster

"Are you going to eat chocolate Easter eggs?"

— Pat Braungard, Lancaster

"Really? Am I as big a horse's ass as people say that I am?"

— Walter R. Bushong, Lancaster

"Together we can beat John McCain in November."

— James R. Clark, Lancaster

"Sorry, I can't give you the blanket, Snow White. You'll melt."

— Stephanie Detwiler, Lancaster

"Your place or mine?"

— Doris Dovey, Lancaster

"Well, Martha, what will we do today?"

— Don Ehrhart, Lancaster

"I guess we oughtta go tell your maw and paw."

— Martin G. Eshleman, Lancaster

"Do you think Farmer John noticed I ate all the oats? And does my butt look bigger?"

— Ricky Eshleman, Lancaster

"I am glad we are friends."

— Ruth Gamber, Lancaster

"I love you ... Will you marry me?" "Stay tuned!"

— Susan Ganse, Lancaster

"I'm thinking of getting new shoes with my tax rebate." "My blacksmith is having a sale."

— Lisa M. Garvey, Lancaster

"Looks like horse' doeuvres again!"

— Sue Groshong, Lancaster

"One of us will lose the nomination, but let's be friends."

— Vernon Gunnion, Lancaster

You may now kiss the bride.

— Samantha Heth, Lancaster

"It's not open for discussion."

— Dorothy Ilvento-Theros, Lancaster

"I love your complexion."

— Doris B. Kenawell, Lancaster

"Guess what? I just got new shoes!"

— Polly Kilheffer, Lancaster

Two heads are better than one.

— Rose Locar, Lancaster

"When should we announce the engagement?"

— Gail Lombardo, Lancaster

"You will always be my studmuffin."

— Elaine Long, Lancaster

"Feeling stiffness? Rumor has it even humans use horse linament on sore muscles."

— Hiltrud Lu, Lancaster

"Please, what I've just told you must go no further than this field. Not a word to Mabel."

— Margaret McCandless, Lancaster

"Hector, my back is killing me. If our owner expects me to take that 350-pound relative of his for a ride again this week, I'm going to feign illness."

— Constance A. McCollough, Lancaster

"You know, Mr. Ed has been dead for years, Molly. Why do you still look so pale? No color. And those tears, my Lord!"

— Terry Mentzer, Lancaster

"You're kinda cute. Do you romp here often?

— Sandy Miller, Lancaster

"I hate to be a nag, but you've been out in the sun too long."

— Ken Munro, Lancaster

"She was only the stablehand's daughter, but all the horsemen knew 'er."

— Bill Musser, Lancaster

"What I am about to tell you is confidential."

— Raymond E. Pickering, Lancaster

"Did you see that cute filly in the third race?"

— John J. Pyott, Lancaster

"I got it right from my brother's mouth. 'It's a sure thing.' "

— Dorothy M. Reinoehl, Lancaster

"Retired at 4 years old. Beat that, Favre!"

— Daniel Rutledge, Lancaster

"Psst. Do you think they'll let us run in the Relay for Life?"

— John Sangrey, on behalf of team Sangrey Strength, Lancaster

"Pucker up, baby. I'm ready for my kiss!"

— Angela Santos, Lancaster

"And so I says to her ..."

— Merle Schnee, Lancaster

"Did you hear the latest rumor back at the stables?"

— Arlene L. Shipe, Lancaster

"Let's try for a prize at the rodeo."

— Betty H. Shirk, Lancaster

"Don't let the gray hair fool ya, honey!"

— Cindy Stewart, Lancaster

"The pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more."

— Kenneth Usner, Lancaster

"I told you that would happen if you didn't use sunscreen."

— Katheryn Yerger, Lancaster

"Honey, now's no time to bail out of pictures, with a gorgeous profile like yours!"

— Chris Korba, Landisville

"If people have horse sense, do we have people sense?"

— Alyssa Bomberger, Lebanon

"Here comes that guy with a camera."

— Sabrina Bomberger, Lebanon

"Should I go blonde or red, dear?"

— Shirley Nolt, Leola

"Headache? Again?"

— Amos Smucker, Leola

"Did I ever tell  you that you had beautiful hooves?"

— Carol Crawford, Lititz

"So, Joe, what's the word around the barnyard?"

— Barbara A. English, Lititz

"Psst. I overheard the man down the street say that 'he eats like a horse.' Let's invite him to dinner sometime."

— Mary Jane Fassnacht, Lititz

"Why do people keep calling me Hillary behind my back?"

— Dan Gibble, Lititz

"When's lunch? I'm so hungry I could eat a human."

— Darlene Gibble, Lititz

Gosh, blondes are so attractive. "How about a smooch?"

— Bob Hill, Lititz

"Whose turn is it to drive the buggy to the barn volleyball game?"

— Brenda L. Reedy, Lititz

"HAY. Didn't I see you at Penn National?"

— Barry L. Runk, Lititz

"Overheard them talking. If I don't win, I will be sent to the glue factory."

— Beth S. Runk, Lititz

"Those eyelashes are driving me crazy!  Would you like to share the same feed bag?"

— Dorothy M. Wright, Lititz

"Looks like it's gonna be more work for us now that gas prices are so high."

— Denine Greenwald, Manheim

"What is it worth to you to get rid of that blanket?"

— Vicki Swayne, Manheim

"I hate when they make me wear this coat. It takes all the fun out of rolling in the mud."

— Sonia Ross, Maytown

"Here she comes, Whitey. She's the one who always has carrots in her pocket."

— John Winters, Maytown

"Who said gray wasn't beautiful?"

— Judy Anttonen, Millersville

"Quit horsing around, Hillary. We all know you voted for that war!"

— Ed Blankenstein, Millersville

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

— Marge Burger, Millersville

"Howdy, neigh-bor!"

— Debbie Burkhardt, Millersville

"Can you keep a secret?"

— Dorothy I. Keller, Morgantown

"Nice pants. Are they studded?"

— William Gordon Allen, Mount Joy

"They are just a couple of Clydesdales. We can take 'em."

— Kelly Johnson, Mount Joy

"Been farmin' long?"

— Kim and John Kreider, Mount Joy

"Listen, do you want to know a secret?"

— Lee Laverty, Mount Joy

"I tell ya, Al, the next time Farmer Brown says, 'Cough,' I'm going to kick him in the ..."

— Raymond C. Laverty, Mount Joy

"Just promise you won't tell anyone."

— Jack Frey, Mountville

"Will you please stop making an ass of yourself?!"

— John Borelli, New Holland

"Hey, did you hear where glue comes from?"

— Pam Heidig, New Holland

"How about a little smooch?"

— Deb Means, New Holland

"Hi! Come here often?"

— Judith R. Graver, New Providence

"Aren't you glad we don't have to buy gas?"

— Margy Latham, Nottingham

"Your meadow or mine?"

— Doris H. Lichty, Paradise

"Who does she think she is? Her father was a jackass!"

— Dr. Curtis A. Zillhardt, Paradise

"Like my skirt?" "Awesome! And buckles are in!"

— Calvin Keene, Quarryville

"The fix is in for the seventh race; you lost."

— Clifton Kent, Quarryville

"Come on, Thelma. Let's head west."

— Shirley J. Orfanella, Quarryville

"You look funny in that thing hanging down in front of you."

— James Tozier, Quarryville

"Dude, your breath smells like a human."

— Lisa Weaver, Ronks

"Don't look now, but I'm afraid our love is no longer a secret."

— Richard Paul Falstick, Smoketown

"I'm sorry. I see you didn't hear about the recent shampoo recall. It seems several bottles were discovered laced with bleach."

— E. Dean Mast, Smoketown

"This is so much better than holding hands for our first date!"

— Michelle Colon, Stevens

"Is it too soon for a first kiss?"

— Doris E. Enck, Stevens

"Barack, you gotta let me win the race!"

— Ed Spewak, Stevens

"Hey, Frankie. Did you see the new mare? She is hot."

— Leon M. Bowman, Strasburg

"Mom, all the guys are wearing their pants this low."

— Austin Helsel, Strasburg

"That's easy for you to say; you're the dark horse."

— Robin Ann Horner, Strasburg

"Pssst. Your fly is down."

— Thomas McGowan, Strasburg

"Have you heard the latest gossip?"

— Nancy Rintz, Strasburg

"I won't tell if you don't tell!"

— Joyce Parker, Willow Street

"Psst. Where's the bathroom?"

— Freddy Quedenfeld, Willow Street

"Dick, no more hunting trips, OK?"

— Jeanne Klein, Williston Park, N.Y.