The name's Ad. Yes, seriously. And please, no wisecracks! - Columns

By Ad Crable

Updated Feb 19, 2007 15:52

How can people butcher my name? Let us count the ways.

My name, officially Ad Allen Crable III, has always carried some baggage.

From the beginning. I am actually the fourth, but there was some kind of snafu early on about a senior not being used when it was supposed to, or used twice � I�ve never been clear about it.

Mr. Crab, Addly Crable, Al Crebo.

Then there were the juvenile jokes that, sad to say, persist to this day. �Hey, Ad, can you subtract? Hardy-har-har.�

These days, there�s usually some lame attempt to formulate a wisecrack around my working for a newspaper and advertisement. Thank goodness I didn�t go into advertising.

Some of you may remember a laundry detergent called Ad that was popular in the 1950s.

The television jingle, sung to me by elementary schoolmates countless times, still rings in my ears: �Ad, Ad in the washing machine.�

Ad Krabow, Add Grable, Ad Cramble.

Sometimes, after an introduction, I can sense the wheels turning in someone�s head, trying to spin some funny quip they undoubtedly will assume to be clever and original. Believe me, I�ve heard them all.

Sometimes I�ll try to head off the inanity by saying just that. �Hi, I�m Ad Crable. Yes, that�s A-D, and don�t even try to say a joke about it because I�ve heard them all.�

But often they do anyway and I�ll laugh politely.

Ad Cralde, A D Crabie, Ad Crayble.

Often, people refuse to believe what they�ve heard. He couldn�t have said Ad, they think. He surely said Ed.

So, more often than not, if I don�t elaborate, I know I will be called Ed on first reference.

But it is an unusual name, and I certainly understand the confusion. I have a recording in my head I usually toss out in a perfunctory delivery: �It�s AD. It�s not short for anything. It�s a family name. German, I�m told. Yes, I know it�s unusual.�

Abe Crabell, Ad Cravel, Al Crable.

Once, a couple years ago, I was browsing the on-sale bin of books at Border�s and picked up a book on flowers by a Dutch author with the first name Ad.

I�ve seen it a couple of other times. I am thrilled each time but wonder what they�ve gone through.

Many people assume Ad is short for something. Addly, Addison, Adlai or Adolf perhaps?

No, no, no and no.

I get a fair number of letters with Mrs. or Ms. in front of my name, the senders obviously gender perplexed.

I recently got some unsolicited address labels sent to me as Mr. Ad Jen (my wife�s name) Crable.

And they wanted a donation?

A. Grable, Ad Crabie, Ad Cryble.

Then there�s the Lancaster County factor. Much correspondence comes to me as Ad Kraybill. I used to live in Front Royal, Va., and there are lot of Crabills there. Same problem. But I�m an Illinois Crable.

All of these variations on my name have come to me on letters or documents.

My favorite, by far, is a real estate tax bill once sent to me by West Lampeter Township: Addly Gradley.

And they wanted a payment?

And that is why I don�t use my full name on my byline for this newspaper.

(The Voices column is written by a rotating team of New Era staffers. It appears Mondays.)

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