At Christmas, I received a very lovely gift of oil paints and a canvas.

I love to paint; I think about it quite often, but I don't do it enough. I have a lot of projects around the house, all in various stages of completion, most collecting dust.

I often ask myself, is this attention-deficit disorder? Laziness? Because when I am painting, as difficult and frustrating as it can be, I truly feel — and I know this sounds dramatic — at one with the universe.

Ted Leigh, my wonderful, gifted former art teacher in York, many years ago persuaded me to go to an A.R.T.S. Anonymous meeting (yes there is such a thing) to deal with my artistic "issues." I really couldn't define them other than that I simply never painted enough or tried to fulfill my potential, whatever that might be.

Much like Alcoholics Anonymous, A.R.T.S. Anonymous is a 12-step program to help people face themselves honestly; A.R.T.S. is supposed to help blocked artists deal with procrastination and other self-sabotaging behaviors.

According to the A.R.T.S. Web site, artsanonymous.org, the No. 1 inert-artist trait is "we grew up in an atmosphere of invalidation, which resulted in ambivalence about our artistic expression."

Hmmm. Yes, the nuns would thump me on the back of the head when they caught me doodling while I was supposed to be paying attention to their lessons.

Another trait, according to the Web site: Self-defeating thoughts and societal myths turn in our heads: It's too late. I'm too old. I am not ready. I am not enough. Art is not practical. Artists are neurotic. You'll starve. "We have accepted these as true when, in fact, they are not."

Yet another: "We have felt intimidated by other artists' success. Jealousy, envy, fear, self-pity, perfectionism, resentment and other character defects that block our creative expression."

Occasionally I walk past 142 N. Prince St., where I see these sublime paintings, explosions of brilliant color, by abstract expressionist Christiane David. I think to myself two things: "I want her works on my walls and, secondly, I could never paint like that."

I guess all of us struggling artists should take heed. "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things," so eloquently put by German poet Rainer Maria Rilke, author of "Letters to a Young Poet," devoted to a young man bedeviled by his own craft. Or at least realize the danger of comparing ourselves with others.

And finally, another inactive-artist characteristic: "In any given 24-hour period, we find ways, consciously or unconsciously, to avoid doing that which gives us the most joy — expressing our creativity."

Indeed, there were many times I said to myself: I need to clean the house, wash the car, walk the dog, wash my hair ... before picking up the paint brush. Or, I had run out of paint and it is very pricey stuff.

Thanks to a thoughtful person, who knows I like to paint, at least I can no longer use the latter as an excuse.