Keep those cards, letters, e-mails and phone calls coming, folks. The following are questions and comments (you can't make up stuff like this) from readers:

Q. Your picture is different. You're smiling. Why the change?
A. Dick Shellenberger announcing that he won't run for a second term as commissioner put a smile on my face that won't come off. Just imagine how happy I would look if Molly Henderson made the same announcement. (No such luck.)

Q. We [a bank] have a client presently in Chester County Prison who would like a three-month subscription to the Sunday News.
A. No problem. We like captive audiences, and have no prejudices against lawbreakers. You may have heard that some of our top officials here have broken a state law.

SMARTING REMARKS

Q. If you're so smart, why don't you submit your name to replace Pete Shaub?
A. Couple of reasons. I'm a registered independent, and I know the Sunshine Act, chapter and verse.

Q. Do you think you really know what's better for us than the commissioners, who are our elected officials?
A. Of course not. I know I know better than the commissioners.

Q. I think your little girl is smarter than you.
A. What a coincidence. She thinks she is, too.

Q. The commissioners pleading guilty to violating the Sunshine Act was like pleading guilty to speeding.
A. You're right; the penalty is about the same. However most speeders haven't secretly sold off a valuable chunk of public real estate. And if you get pulled over for speeding, you also get a lecture from a cop, something the commissioners could sorely use. Shellenberger and Shaub were doing 90 miles an hour down a one-way street (going the wrong way, of course) to sell Conestoga View. Molly Henderson, to hear her tell it, was just along for the ride with those bad boys.

Q. Have you heard the radio commercials saying the Sunday News is biased?
A. Yes, paid for by that unbiased paragon of truth, justice and the anti-convention-center way, News.Lanc.com.

Q. You never give the people opposing the convention center any credit.
A. Maybe it's because some in that crowd remind me of the UFO "experts" on the History Channel. No conspiracy is too implausible for them.

Q. Do you think your mother approves of your printing what Gil Smart writes?
A. I don't know if Gil's mother approves of my printing what Gil writes.

Q. Are you the same guy who was in my class at Penn Manor?
A. No, I've changed a lot since then.

Q. I bet you don't belong to a church.
A. I'm not a member of any organized denomination. I'm a United Methodist.

Q. You probably have athlete's foot and gingivitis from having your foot in your mouth so much.
A. Yes, I have been written up in all the medical journals.

SNOW JOB

I told 11-year-old daughter Abigail that we didn't have one- and two-hour delays for snow when I was in school.

"Oh, no, another history lesson," she said with a sigh.

Officials are quicker on the draw these days. I remember getting to school one morning and sitting on the bus for a half-hour in a storm, before the powers decided to send us home.

Marv Adams invites questions. Send them by e-mail to madams@lnpnews.com or mail to: Sunday News, P.O. Box 1328, Lancaster, Pa. 17608-1328.